F**ked up... Wants to dance yet Don't dare to dance...

It's time to go for NS 2 full years. WI got informed about my enlistment after my 21st birthday chalet. I was seriously emo to the max.. It's like suddenly I feel that my life has a turning point soon and really, it's damn soon as my enlistment date is 20th May... Emo at the same time, I was quite excited about my BMT because I can see some hope in taking part for Danzation 2011. Just a tiny hope that I can able to take part, hoping that I can get posted to 8-5 duty after my BMT. But anyhow we'll see how it goes for me.. Just having a mixed feeling about NS enlistment.. How my life will change?

For now, I just want to enjoy what I'm doing.. Be it going out with friends, buddies, peers, family or slacking around doing nothing or dancing. I just want to keep doing things that I enjoyed a lot before going into NS. Because I know, once my NS starts... There'll be a lot of restriction in my life, I cannot be able to dance as what I've been doing, cannot be able to go out with friends to chill, supper or play around until late night as what we've been doing since secondary days.

That's why sometime I'm quite affected when people around me tells me "Why dance? Stop dancing, dance for what?" Don't know.. I just very affected by this when I heard about it.... Maybe to people, it does not have any significant to them. But to me, it have a lot of memorises for me, it's like a turning point in my poly life where I really found something I loved doing it despite sometime it's tough and tired along the way. But I still love it a lot.. For this 1month, I have tried to stop dancing because I hurt my back veins ( don't know how it got hurt ). Be it going gym, slacking, working, running... I don't feel that level of enjoyment when I'm doing it unlike dancing... I know I'm not good in dancing thus in future, dancing might not help me to earn money or wad.. Please.. I just want to dance while I can...

You can emo, angry, cry, pissed off, happy, unhappy, sad, procasinating, disappointed
But don't regret.